Some people find themselves overwhelmed by major upsets, becoming hopeless and immobilized. Others seem to roll with the punches, returning quickly to their normal lives. Resilience – the ability to adapt and change in the face of stress – gives them the ability to not only survive catastrophe, but to emerge stronger than before.
Are resilient people superhuman? No, studies show that they tend to live longer, healthier lives than people who have difficulty coping with adversity. They also share certain traits:
Optimism: Resilient people believe that the world is a good place. They focus on the light, even in dark moments, and trust that things will turn out well.
A feeling of control over their lives: People who are resilient are more likely to take action than accept a situation. "Stubbornness is the most important trait," says Kerri Dyer-Keen, whose promising stage career was abruptly cut short by a near-fatal auto accident.
"There were times when I wanted to give up because it was so incredibly difficult, but I'm still at it." Dyer-Keen's book, My Corner of the Sky, describes how her accident and recovery changed her life and outlook.
An ability to view problems from many angles: Resilient people often explore alternate and novel solutions to tackle problems. "Look for the factor in that person which is uniquely them, and stick to that for their ongoing progress," says Dyer-Keen's husband, Edmund.
A sense of humor: Research shows that humor has psychological and physical benefits in relieving stress. It encourages us to change the way we think about circumstances, which in turn elevates our mood.
Reasonable expectations and goals: Setting the bar realistically makes success more likely. "Stick to what you know you can do," advises Dyer-Keen. "You may not be able to do it as you used to do it, but stick to it with pride."
There's no escaping adversity. The good news is that consciously adopting these traits can, with practice, become a way of life and prepare us to meet life's challenges. (Courtesy iBN Features)
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